Urgh, My housemates suck (i’m 20 and living at home).

BLOG 3: 07/03/2024

Today I will be discussing a topic I have reflected on MANY times in my journal. The feeling that life is stagnant and kind of depressing.

I have recently returned from living abroad for 6 months, this was one of the greatest adventures of my life. I learnt a lot about myself and the person I want to continue to become, my outlook on the future, my confidence and my self-worth improved significantly. I came back a much happier Char than I was when I left, which was great. That being said, running away from your problems will not solve them, I learnt that the hard way.  Being WAY out of my comfort zone and making a life for myself (completely alone on the other side of the world) was both terrifying and an exhilarating challenge.  

When I was overseas, everything felt like an adventure, life was constantly changing. It was a similar feeling to moving into college in a new state. Without needing to try, I was learning, experiencing and growing everyday - everyone was a new face and everything around me was a fresh and thrilling endeavour.

Change is great, being able to adapt our personality to new situations and being open minded to new people and ways of living really shapes us into more refined versions of ourselves.

However, physical change can also be exhausting, and what I’ve learnt is, it isn’t always necessary for personal growth - growth can happen without the need for a physical shift.

As many of my friends have recently returned home after 2 years in college or a semester abroad, we have been discussing the feeling of monotony. Returning to an old environment as more mature individual is quite a jarring experience. I can relate to my Melbourne friends, the feeling of going home in your 20’s after living away for a period of time is intrinsically suffocating. Inhabiting a space you’ve outgrown pushes you into old habits and it can feel pretty restrictive in terms of personal growth.

Sometimes an uninspiring, comfortable environment can push us into a bit of a rut. I would describe this rut as a poor routine, a lack of productivity and an unwillingness to push ourselves out of our comfort zone… basically in this rut there is none of that ‘carpe diem’ shit happening.

When we find ourselves in this rut, often people tell us to ‘try something new’. Thanks a lot for the advice, Aunt Margaret, but I’m finding my entire existence exhausting at the moment so I can’t REALLY be bothered to ‘try something new’. Cheers anyway. While hearing this mostly unhelpful advice feels pitiful and almost mocking, it is true. To escape a repetitive and mundane routine, a shift is necessary.  

So, I have some less vague tips to live a more inspiring existence in an otherwise stale environment.

Romanticise your life.

• Cringe, I know. This is probably my best advice for the baddies that are feeling a bit ‘blah’ about life. Take yourself on a coffee date, strut around town like you have somewhere better to go, treat yourself like someone you want to be friends with, literally just act like you are THE SHIT, eventually you’ll believe it. In terms of confidence, fake it till you make it. When I started spending time alone, I felt silly journaling in a park by myself or sitting at a café alone, then I changed my mindset and stopped judging myself for looking like a loner. Now I love my alone time, I love tricking onlookers into thinking that I am a mysterious and pensive lady alone in a park looking at the trees (bold of me to assume that strangers are actually looking at me).

Dress with purpose.

• This is a big one, when you hop out of bed in the morning, get changed. Don’t lounge around in your PJ’s until noon, because then you’ll think, ‘well what’s the point getting ready now?’, leading to another day in the same cycle. Put together an outfit that you are comfortable in and proud of. Do your hair, accessorise, maybe spray some cologne or perfume, just make yourself presentable. It’ll automatically make you feel ready for the day. When you feel hot, you are more confident (this is a SCIENTIFC FACT).

 Speak to strangers.

• This is just fun. Literally what is the worst that can happen (aside from the obvious, kidnapping)? Speaking to strangers is both entertaining and interesting. Learning more about people and their lives can change your perspective, land you a new job, foster new relationships or just teach you more about the world we’re living in.

Have a passion project.

• Have something that isn’t work, isn’t study, isn’t your social life, isn’t exercise. Make time for a stimulating hobby. Having a hobby makes us into multifaceted beings, it makes you an interesting person to chat to at the bar. Passion projects include, but are not limited to, sewing your own clothes, writing a book, planting a veggie patch, baking, scrapbooking, taking up photography, reading, wine tasting, hiking, camping, fishing… the list goes on. Find something that inspires you.

Make your bed.

• That’s right. The key to success. I’m sure I am not alone when I tell you that my father loves communicating through ted talk links. Sometimes we won’t chat for a few days, and I’ll just have a YouTube link or an inspirational quote sent to my DM’s. Several years ago, he forwarded me a video which has had a lasting impact. It was of a Navy Seal Admiral sharing reasons to make your bed each morning. The basic psychology he describes is that if you make your bed in the morning, you have achieved the first small task of the day. This gives you a sense of pride and will encourage you to continue to accomplish many tasks. So, make your bed! It will increase productivity and self-respect. Swag.

Some other little things, if you want to listen to Aunt Margaret and ‘try something new’:

-       Re-arrange your room.

-       Get a job in a new field.

-       Join a local sports team.

-       Go on a date with a new person.

-       Reconnect with friends you miss.

 So go out there my little cherubs, seize the day and make your own life one you want to be a part of. Stay busy, find your mojo and surround yourself with people that make you smile.

Not to make things dark, but it would be wrong not to bring up the fact that we only have one life, and we will all die one day. If you watched the new Netflix show, ‘One Day’, you’ll remember the Thomas Hardy quote Emma referenced about her death day, ‘a day which lay sly and unseen among all the other days of the year, giving no sign or sound when she annually passed over it; but not the less surely there.’ The fact is, we don’t know when we will die, so start living each day with purpose and stop wasting your life wishing you were somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else. Create a life YOU want to live, full of happiness and rainbows and butterflies.