appreciate the little dudes.

BLOG 5: 05/04/2024

Siblings, one of my favourite topics to discuss. I have this psychic power, where I can meet someone and from a very brief conversation with them, I can pick the order they were born and how many siblings they have. I’m not even joking. Siblings (or the lack of), shape us into the people we are. I’m not just talking about how siblings influence our hobbies, or how we dress, I mean they dictate our psychological construct.

We all slot into one of the three categories, eldest, middle or the youngest sibling. Here is my brief break down of the three.

Eldest child

Having spent their whole lives with an ingrained sense of responsibility, eldest children feel compelled to meet their parents and other people’s expectations. Eldest children are often rather stressed out and potentially anxious individuals… do you blame them? The eldest child is parents first try at parenting, having spent their entire existence under the careful watch of their parents, they live with little room for error. There is always a different expectation of the eldest sibling, even while living under the same roof as other children, with the same set of rules, the expectation to succeed and to lead can seem ‘unfair’. Being unofficially assigned the third parent role, they have a constant pressure to lead, in the family and in the real world.

Middle child

I am a middle child, and honestly, ceebs. No one understands us, and we don’t need them to, we’ll just continue to navigate this world on our own unique path, and we’ll be ok. That’s all, middle children unite.

Youngest child

WARNING, a bit of a love letter to youngest siblings incoming… I love youngest children.

Often being labelled ‘the spoilt baby’, the youngest are the most misunderstood children and are the homies I have the most sympathy for. They are always just trying to keep up. Often wise beyond their years, youngest children bare the burden of older siblings’ issues. Issues they shouldn’t be exposed to, issues they shouldn’t have to deal with at such a young age. Research suggests youngest siblings are more vulnerable to trauma, being in earlier developmental stages than the rest of the family, while enduring the same stresses. Due to the constant stress of ‘helping’ and being loyal to older children, younger children may feel left behind or unable to handle their emotions.

Trying to keep up, until the day they are left behind. The last ones to leave home, the last ones to go through monumental moments for the first time. Youngest children have incredible loyalty and are the best listeners. I love you youngest children and I think you are some of the most emotionally receptive and supportive humans in this world.

Turns out a lot of my favourite people are youngest siblings, including my favourite brother… whoops.

I understand that family relationships are different for everyone, and for some can be a difficult thing to discuss. But, for people who have been gifted with siblings that they don’t totally despise, cherish them! These are the only people in the world that will ever truly understand the complexities of your childhood… you can bond over trauma and support each other through it!

I have been gifted with three brothers and I believe that having them as my siblings makes me the luckiest person in the world. Having moved out of home and to a different city has made me realise that my time living with my siblings is over, which is a bit of a sad thought. It’s been interesting noticing a shift in our dynamic as siblings. We now see each other as a source of friendship and emotional support rather than just other children we are obliged to live with. I’ve been thinking recently though, while my time living with my siblings is over, my youngest brother has been slowly watching some of his best friends leave him behind. It breaks my heart thinking about him at home having dinners at an empty dinner table, walking past empty bedrooms and coming home to a very quiet house. So yeah, everyone should go and give their youngest siblings a cuddle.

Anyway, please tell your siblings you love them, they are the only humans in the world that are obliged to stay in your life forever, so make the most of it.